DO MEN REALLY JUST WANT SEX?
- Elle Nicole
- Sep 17, 2014
- 4 min read
How many women have asked themselves this pervasive question in a new, old or impossible relationship? This question, along with the chicken vs. the egg conundrum, has burdened many, many women throughout the ages. Candace Bushnell a.k.a Carrie Bradshaw made an entire career based on it. Steve Harvey wrote an instruction manual, which included explicit details on how to keep a man interested without sex for at least 90 days. American Pie, Road Trip and countless other comedies certainly make a statement as they follow the lives of four horny college boys on their life mission to have sex with as many girls as humanly possible in one haphazard weekend. Charlamagne Tha God on MTV's Guy Code made one poignant Pro Tip: chicks before dicks, i.e. sex comes first point blank period. So, the short answer: Yes. However, this much-debated issue deserves a more in-depth explanation. Let me indulge you for a moment.
Let's begin with a short lesson in biology.
Testosterone: Man's Best Friend
While testosterone isn't the only component of sex drive, it is a major player. As such, it is responsible for not only sex drive, but other bodily functions and behaviors in men such as sperm production, muscle mass, aggression, risk taking, bone density and a host of others. It naturally decreases as men age beginning around 30 with a decrease rate of around 1 percent a year thereafter. This is why the pharmacology industry has cashed in on the booming testosterone replacement therapy business. Men are often judged by their ability to "rise to the occasion," and if they are unable to so due to low testosterone levels, then there are a plethora of drugs to come to their rescue.
Testosterone, which is five times higher in men than in women, also causes major structural differences in the brain. For one, it makes the brain larger along with other major organs such as the heart (yes, men have bigger hearts and brains, but it doesn't make them better!). It also "masculinizes" the brain, a process that takes place during prenatal development that affects how men think and act especially in regards to sex. This masculinization results in key structures in the brain found to be twice as large in the heterosexual male brain than in the female brain. One such structure is the sexually dimorphic nucleus (SDN for short). The SDN is largely connected to "male type behaviors" such as aggression, increased sex drive and mounting (yes, being on top). Another structure is the amygdala, which is responsible for sexual motivation. In men, the amygdala is found to be significantly larger. According to research conducted by the department of psychology at Emory University in Atlanta, the male amygdala has a greater number of sex hormone receptors leading to both the larger size and higher sex drive commonly found in men.
Nature vs. Nurture: Is it all physical?
Despite the effects of testosterone on men, humans are far too complicated to be reduced to simple physical responses. Sexologists and scientists have yet to determine the extent to which the environment contributes to male sex drive and motivation. Several other factors also weigh in on the debate. One major factor is how men are socialized. Society places an immense amount of pressure on males to "perform" (pun intended). How many men get praised for being players, "hitting it" and being the "ladies man?" Meanwhile the not-so-virile guys get a swift kick to the nuts for even daring to exist outside of the status quo.
But, what if these ladies' men are merely fulfilling a need in a socially-acceptable way that won't get them voted off swag island? Advocates for Youth, a nonprofit organization that focuses on reproductive and sexual health, designed a model called The Circles of Sexuality. The model describes the different aspects of sexuality, which include sensuality, sexual intimacy, sexual identity, sexual health and sexualization. Within this idea of sensuality is the notion of skin hunger, or the desire to experience touch and intimacy. Most children regularly experience touch and emotional intimacy with their parents through hugs, kisses, breast feeding and so on. However, as we age, this becomes less socially acceptable. Therefore, this theory of skin hunger proposes that adolescents and adults, particularly men, fulfill this need through sexual intercourse. Some call this the keyhole theory. In short, men tend to be more promiscuous not only because of their biological make up, but also due to societal pressure which doesn't allow them to experience intimacy without sex.
What does this mean?
So, yes, men do want sex and sometimes a lot of it. However, there are a number of reasons for it, and it doesn't make them evil villains or complete douche bags. It makes them human. It simply means that they have a need that they desire to have fulfilled, which is not an excuse for idiot-like behavior, but it does give us all a better understanding of the importance of sex in a man's life.
Comments