LOOK WHO'S TALKING: WHY WOMEN ARE VERBAL
- Elle Nicole
- Sep 17, 2014
- 2 min read
I call it having a fruitful, productive conversation. My boyfriend calls it nagging. Either way, when words leave my lips, I can see his instant irritation. I'm pretty sure by the time the third sentence leaves my mouth and enters his ears, he has already escaped to that little happy place in his mind. The happy place he can only dream of, where all women have DDD-sized breasts, Kim Kardashian asses and the inability to speak, and life is one big sports bar with endless beer on tap. Despite how much men despise the talkative nature of women, there is a purpose for it. Even more, when a woman stops talking, then it's time to worry.
Why are women verbal?
For starters, women speak more words than men. The work of neuropsychiatrist Louann Brizendine, author of The Female Brain and The Male Brain, found that women speak 20,000 words per day compared to 7,000 words spoken by men. Secondly, when women are are in love, the areas of the brain responsible for emotion, memory and language experience greater activity. This is in contrast to men, who experience greater activity in the visual processing areas of the brain. To put it simply, men are visual, and women are verbal.
As mostly verbal processors, women use words for a specific purpose, which is also different from that of men. Linguist Deborah Tannen coined the term "genderlects." This term refers to the reasons behind the different speech patterns between men and women. Women tend to use words to build rapport, establish relationships, make connections and generate intimacy with others. Conversely, men use words to report knowledge and establish status. These differences couldn't be anymore evident than when men and women argue. Men, much like my boyfriend, most often just want to "fix" whatever the problem is while women want to find understanding and support. No wonder we don't understand each other.
Welcome the words
As painful as it may be, men, at least those who are looking for peace in their relationships, should actually welcome words from their partners. Women are more verbal, and it just happens to be the way we express ourselves. Some expression is far better than none, because when the communication stops, then you really have a problem. A lack of words can often mean a woman has shut down, or worse, given up. So, if it means that men have to find their little happy place when we speak, then so be it, because women need their words.
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