3 WAYS SOCIAL MEDIA KILLS YOUR SELF-ESTEEM
- Elle Nicole
- Feb 4, 2015
- 5 min read
Undoubtedly, social media has revolutionized the way we communicate with one another. Gone are the days when we actually picked up a phone to talk to one another. Now, who needs to talk? We can simply go to a friend's (or enemy's) Facebook, Instagram or Twitter account and see what they're doing, engage in a 140-character dialog and keep it moving. Social media may have actually outdated the conversation, or at least the type of conversation where you sit down with a person and speak actual words to one another. Spontaneity, or catching someone off guard with a phone call, no longer exists. We can carefully craft, alter and filter the way we want others to see us by disseminating the portions of our lives that we want to broadcast. Contrary to face-to-face conversations, you can edit, delete and "undo" anything you say. The Facebook "like" button has single-handedly replaced the head nod, the "uh- huh" and any other affirmation all at the same time.
Even people you don't know or want to know can easily find you on social media. Haven't seen someone in 10, 20 or even 30 years? Just look them up on some social media account, and you can find your long lost friend or family member. Social media has single-handedly put the formerly popular "reunion" talk show segment, where Maury Povich or some other random talk show host would reunite a guest with their long lost relative, out of business.
It's given us the ability to take stalking to a whole other level. You can find out what someone is doing on a nearly second by second basis in 140 characters with their location and pictures as added bonuses. Your bosses, past lovers, mother-in-law, the random guy in the office no one likes and anyone else in the free world can easily find out your most personal thoughts and information with click of a button and hold it against you at a later time. When my 10-year high school reunion came around, I didn't even bother to go. Why? I already know what most of my classmates are doing everyday, all day thanks to social media. I remember running into a high school classmate at a local bar, and when she asked me what was going on, I mentioned that I had a baby. She commented that she already saw the announcement of my son's birth on Facebook.
And it's not just communication that social media has changed. It has changed media itself. Journalism was something once reserved for professionals who earned degrees and obtained jobs at major news networks. Now, anyone can be a news reporter as long as they're armed with a smartphone and a social media account. You can find more valuable, unfiltered news on Facebook then you can on CNN. The mainstream media has definitely met it's competition as social media now gives anyone a voice. If Fox News tries to put its usual conservative spin on a story, a person in Cambodia can instantly refute it with video footage and a share button. Let one politician dare to make a politically incorrect statement, and the Twitter army will obliterate their entire campaign with a hashtag and a retweet.
In the history of the modern world, we have never been so connected, yet also disconnected due to social media, which can be both good and bad. On one hand, we are more globally connected than ever before. International information and news was once primarily in the hands (and the voice) of major media networks. Therefore, what we knew about various countries and cultures around us was often confined to a one-hour broadcast or 1,500 word news article. Now, we can easily browse trending topics on social media and read updates on real-world issues from around the globe without the interference of political regimes or bottom lines. The media is finally on an even playing field. Just look at the trending Twitter topic #frompalestinetoferguson, where Palestinians related their struggles to the protests in Ferguson, Missouri. Prior to the launch of Twitter in 2006, this type of global connectedness just didn't exist.
On the other hand, the social skills of children, teens and young adults, who have grown up in this social age, have declined to a nearly dismal level. We spend more time glued to a computer, tablet or phone screen than we do to each other. How many times have you sat at dinner or gone out with a group of friends only to constantly check your social media accounts a thousand times despite sitting right in front of the same friends you connect with online? The communication skills we use such as body language, attending skills, tone, pitch and timing, which are all used in face-to-face conversations, have gone awry. Kids (any many adults) are more socially awkward and inept than ever.
Even more, social media has increased the level of isolation we experience as more people spend time online rather than in-person. As a result, as an article in USA Today put it, young adults spend more time showing others about their lives then actually living them.
3 WAYS SOCIAL MEDIA KILLS YOUR SELF-ESTEEM
With all of the incessant time most spend on social media, there comes a considerable risk to your self-esteem since most of what is found on social media is just a mere snap shot of reality.
1. COMPARISON SHOPPING
People on social media most often post updates and pictures of their various triumphs and celebrations in life - a new job, house, baby and marriage. While these images and messages are clearly happy times and events worth sharing, they often do not capture the back-stories and trials that are attached to achieving such monumental moments. You may see a picture of someone's bouncing baby boy, but it's doubtful that you also saw the high-risk pregnancy, 39-hours of labor, screaming, crying and the unthinkable pain that accompanied his arrival.
As such, the hours we spend browsing countless pictures of all these precious moments can often make you feel as though you haven't achieved enough or you're not where you are supposed to be in life. Social media can then become a constant reminder that you don't have that elusive house, car, husband, wife or baby just yet, which can wear on confidence and self-esteem.
2. BODY UN-CONSCIOUS
Instagram is now a modeling agency for unofficial, self-proclaimed "Internet models." Social media now allows formerly obscure "models" to become instantly famous with the addition of a serious filter and makeup contouring that makes Picasso look like an amateur. The constant consumption of these images can particularly make young girls feel in adequate in comparison to their own bodies. Just as magazines and print media employ airbrushing and photo-editing software, social media allows the same form of sorcery, which easily tricks others into accepting unrealistic beauty images.
3. TROLL FEST
Trolling, the newest form of Internet bullying where online users attempt to elicit an angry response by posting the most obscene and offensive messages possible, can take even the most composed person to the gutter. Race-baiting, fat-baiting and any other kind of baiting posts can certainly drive someone to the point of absolute depression particularly when these negative messages are consumed nearly around the clock.
TAKE A BREAK
As hard as it may be to break away from the bloodline of modern communication, it is absolutely necessary for your sanity and well-being. Instead of staying connected 24/7, try scheduling offline time, where you can enjoy friends, have a drink, read a book, do arts and crafts or whatever brings you peace and happiness. You won't miss much from just a few hours away from social media, but without taking this time you could miss one of the most important things - getting back to you.
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